Why Laverne and Shirley?

Ok before we go any further with this, I have a disclaimer. I am not, nor do I pretend to be an example of the perfect girlfriend. I am certain there are going to be some followers who know me and can authoritatively confirm that. What I can say is that I am working to always become a better girlfriend to my girlfriends. I am a work in progress. I am trying which is what I hope this blog, if anything, accomplishes - that we will all try a little harder to be a good, not perfect, but good, friend.

So now you may be asking yourself, "Why Laverne and Shirley?" If you are under 40, you are probably asking yourself, "Who in the hell ARE Laverne and Shirley?" If you are in the later group. Here is a little clue.

You will now be humming this tune all day...my apologies!

So why Laverne and Shirley?

First of all, whenever faced with a parental conundrum I dig back to the treasure trove of classic TV shows from my youth to find some pearl of wisdom. Would Ward and June have grounded the Beav for this? Would Mrs. Brady have ratted out Marsha’s best friend to her parents? What type of little story would Andy have told Opie to help him get over his first crush? How did Rob and Laura Petrie look so relaxed when they slept in separate beds? WAIT - that is another blog all together.

Both my husband and I have found this practice quite helpful. Take for example this fall when our 11 year-old was navigating the structure of the atom – protons, neutrons and electrons. Without skipping a beat he grabbed the laptop and jumped on YouTube. Within seconds he pulled up that classic episode of WKRP In Cincinatti when Venus Flytrap keeps a tough-talking teen from quitting school with a brilliant analogy of the “hood”. C’mon, if you are over 40, you remember it. If you still can't remember the difference between a proton and a neutron, take a gander.

From my viewpoint, Laverne & Shirley had the friendship all women should strive to emulate. Despite living in the 50’s brew capital of the U.S. and sharing a passion for dreamy guys and a tolerance for nerdy neighbors, Laverne & Shirley were totally unlike each other – like milk and Pepsi.

Laverne was a tough-talking, wise-cracking daughter of a bowling alley owner. Shirley was a prissy, overly optimistic pre-cursor to Mary Tyler Moore. But what made their friendship golden was their acceptance of their differences and their loyalty.

Laverne’s dating “practices” made Shirley cross her legs. Shirley’s sun-shiney attitude made LaVerne wanna clobber her. But despite their different personalities, they loved and accepted each other. They looked passed the negatives and focused on positive. There were a the times when each spoke up and deliver the unsolicited and unpopular advice - that only a true friend can give - to keep the other from making a HUGE mistake (remember when Laverne tried to be a Playboy Bunny?)

You messed with Shirley Feeney, LaVerne DeFazio would be in your face faster than you could say, "Lenny and Squiggy".  You make fun of Laverne DeFazio’s dress and Shirley Feeney would, well...she would give you a lecture you’d never forget.

I know life is not a 70's sit-com set in the 50's but I still think we girls could live happier, healthier, more confident lives if we could all just be a little more Like Laverne and Shirley.

The Movement Starts Today

lI have been kicking around the idea of this blog for weeks...okay, actually months. It just seemed like everything else was always more important - work, eating, sleeping, cleaning out the junk drawer, posting to FaceBook, blah, blah, blah. I was concerned that my first few posts be perfectly scripted - in all honesty that is what probably delayed my start more than anything. I was overthinking it.

In my mind it was important to be witty. It was important to set the stage perfectly for all future posts. It was important to take time in crafting my message.

Tonight, none of that was important.

What was important tonite, was that my nine year-old daughter walked in the door from the Daddy Daughter Dance sobbing. Not crying - SOBBING!

It wasn't because she had to leave earlier than she wanted. It wasn't because she spilled something on the dress she took so long to pick out. It wasn't because she was just tired and crabby.

My nine year-old daughter, whom we affectionately call Twinkie, was sobbing, because the girl who just a year ago was her best friend, completely ignored her tonight.

"I walked up to talk to her and she just ignored me. I was so happy to see her and she just ignored me. Why?"

It broke my heart.

It broke my heart, because not only was she hurting, but I had to break the news to her that all women over the age of nine know - women are terrible to each other. Yep - we are. You know it, I know it, even her 11 year-old sister knows it.  But, my Twinkie didn't know it.

I wanted desperately to convince her that her friend didn't mean to hurt her feelings or make her feel like an outside - that maybe she just didn't see her. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't lie to her. It was time for the little girl who still loves her Barbies and tucks her Chihuahua in under a pile of blankets every morning before she leaves for school, that today she was going to have to grow up a little and accept the reality that girls can, and will sadly, often be mean to each other. They weren't always going to tell us we look pretty, in fact, sometimes they were going to make us feel ugly. They weren't always going to include us in their fun, in fact, sometimes they were going to exclude us. They weren't always going to lift us up, in fact, sometimes were going to put us down.

It made me down right mad and convinced me that tonight was the night of my first blog.  I had to do something to reach out to the little girls and grown women of the world and get them thinking. Why are we women are so mean to each other?  When it comes to our girlfriends, why cant we be more supportive...More kind...More understanding...More kind...More generous...More accepting...More protective.

Why couldn't we be more Like Laverne and Shirley?